whao....thanks for my fans...i need it

o whao...didn't notice i still have some fans...well either good or bad coment that u guys gonna post, im really thank about that...

for real...im not those kinda of person that will make so much trust to others..i always make doubt's on how people tought about me, trying to know what are they think about me...so as i think of it, just better ignore on those feeling, and better keep myself stay happy and entertain people as much as i can.

well for as much as i know that sometimes make funny and cold jokes, i can't put a good joke if i'm saying in english..haha^^ anyway, i always try to make people have fun around me..i like it a lot, cause if i can't accomplish that, i'll satr to think of is that particular person, or those guys are thinking of i am very annoying...

i'm a person that need some attention sometime....okay is a lot...sorry. i do need some attention sometime, thats why i wrote this blog, well as to let people know who i am from here instead of saying out load.....ya im a freak...huuuh...i know that people opinion is different, some might thing is a good thing to express out, but most of them if after read, i believe is the other way round, please believe me cause is true. people that know me, or whoever that read this blog but doesn't know me much, they'll have a different eye aiming at me when they saw me the next time...well, just have to acept it, cause that human nature, you can't expect them to spend time ti understand who you are from the deep down and give compasion that you want, right?

well, what to say, that's the way God have created us, not all are perfect, infact, there's no one that is perfect enough then God. that's the way he work, that's what make this world so wonderful, don't you agree?? if all are perfect and no arguing on ideas, who's gonna improve our life. no competition, no improvement.

well...kinda boring week this week is. dunno what to do, just finish my test have a bad enough result...huuh, just have to study more these few weeks as phisic is coming on the 26. my GOD...

damn. im not sure on what is going with me, there's some mix feeling on me, but for real i had given up from the very first, i might be lying now as no one can see the truth. im not gonna say cause is a sin too me...maybe not now...wanna hint..(HERO)

people keep on saying, but the truth that i've change on what i want. able to guess?? i repeat, is not that im being unloyalty, but i had given up the first on the 1st place......understand what i mean?? im really sorry. i only want to have more warm. and i found it somewhere else.

can say and see the end result is bad and trust me, IT IS!!

well, all i can say that really sorry, but the fact that i had start to like you and it's been a while. you might have notice, but you still neglet it, or maybe, im not sure will u read or not my blog, but i make it official here, i do like you...

p.s im not ready to face the coment cause i know it's gonna be bad...but pls understand what do i feel before comenting. it does well in more explaning..i dun wanna coment who is she. i can only tell privately.

moody....

....dunno how to start...wanna use broken english 2day....
weird day, hearing that she need help on some adobe program, try so hard to find the program for her, din't sleep for that nite just to search that program, after that we meet on morning, outside sitting on the bench, haha:), sh elook so messy, wonder why she so rush, can see baby powder on her neck and some mooncake pieces on side of her lips...she so cute and funny, anyway, i have her laptop, help her install the photoshop...lol, then oni i know that she do have that program...but the problem is the key get expired...well, luckily eonugh i found the crack for her, just copy and paste...then is done, i dn really need to spend the whole day to without sleeping, just to help her download the whole adobe photoshop and illustrator...why i being so stupid and listen careful enough...or is that she din stated good enough?? better just put the blame on me...

well, at least now she can have her assigment done without buying the original cd which will cost around rm160 above, or maybe(not sure bout the price)...will she remember who help her??
hmmm, not sure.....memories will fade.

malaysia independence day is today(31 august), after that my fren b'day, which is the next day,(1 september), i 4got her b'day....omg how cruel am i...i promise i wont 4got her b'day anymore, hahaha. we chat along celebrating her b'day, although is only trough MSN, but at least we have a fun day talking about our feeling to each other....weird....i ply a lot of jokes even when i dn have mood...what's make me moody??? erh, how should i out it...for now, having a relationship or could say having a gf..is only a sad thing for me to think of it, been rejected so many time, only making me more and more losing my confident on chasing a gurl...lost all those heart, beside, i always happens to be making her angry or some, im not sure is it the way that she tok is like that, or just that she hate me or really think that im annoying...

well, wat so, even if so to be like that, can't u jz treat me as u treat other of your fren here, do u really that hate me...so many question....so many why..
jz wish to become much and much closer to u...but, my feelings tell me that i should give up on chasing u..the other way round that keep on teeling me not to give up is my Ego...what should i do?? so confuse.....

i dn like to change too many target, when i spot one, i'll keep on tracking it till it dissapear....i remember last time when i was young, thr this gurl i like, belive it or not, i like her for two whole years, without telling her, after she'd gone(stop studying) then i aimed for other target...same as to my exes..is either one of us dissapear, then my heart will let go.....huuh...wat the hell...

tired and confuse....sad and dissapoint...cry with a smile....heart broke, still act strong....huuh....maybe that's what the main key of being me, duyung!

damn...think too much.....sleep will heal me, and the sun will energies me..


HAPPY B'DAY SUXIN, MUAKS, BFF

hais....

am i desperate?? ya so....hais...dunno wat to rite..so damn fuck up...angry not because of others but myself, not because angry myself because angry of y im so confuse and blind sometime...

damn!!!!!!!!!! arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me kill my feeling, any potion that can take these feeling away, make it gone........i'm so suffer, do anyone understand.

am i that bad, always being rejected, well doesn't really matter to me, but can __ at least be a friend, why it is just so damn. i just want some conversation, please ok...

so damn hate being ignore...


then fine..i'll work myself out, get myself even stronger!! not to be seen a useless guy, dunno anything, being said childish. i'll prove it to the world!!


so what, said im a worst person ever that trying to prove himself to the world that he is a great person, such a freak, i don't mind!! but do u(anyone) know who i am?? no!! THEN SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

can i do it this time??

huuh...is a frustation to think of it everyday...so what of like someone.....maybe being friends is the best solution....

i have somehow don't have that confident to say it out loud anymore...'i like you'.....
is really confussing that should i even try to have a move...is pain?? no, anger?? no...then?? i really don't know...

should i say it??? still having doubts

basketball..

somehow i use to hate basketball, not able to get a score, people don't want to pass it to me, damn, makes me have no more mood...
But as today, something really shit frustrated me so much, damn it man, i can't do jogging as i like coz weather don't let me too and the campus parameter is just too big and got many people.

then a flick of my mind suddenly says, ' play basketball' then i said why don't, since i've a ball from someone, then i just let off my steam with it..

well the point is that, don't let of your steam on someone or complain too much, it won't end up to have a good result anyway..so go for sport. Isn't it a good thing, i mean, u sweat, get rid of those toxic, and u gain an increase skill or abilty on playing bball or badminton or watever...it just something really nice be have sport. It keeps us healthy and have a happy mind too^^ as oxygen will fill in more to your brain cell...

well...not much too say..coz dn like to complain anymore, just have to fight for it

wah.....girls

when was the last time that I'm being surrounded by so many girls...haha^^ nto saying I'm those popular and handsome boys lah, just want to gosip around like girls do KEKE, but really it is kinda fun listening on those topik that they say, about boys, groceries stuff, handbags, make up..

weird right that I'm been able to join those girls, well don't envy if I'm friendly with those girls that you like, wakaka^^ just kidding. But, if guys, i mean boys, if you can't join those girls is never mind , cause i understand, those topiks is really really REALLY not for boys to listen, sometimes after hearing might feel weird, or if they(girls) are talking about those cute boys infront of you, you might will staring to doubt yoursleves and re-evaluate yourselves.

well, at least we still can learn and see what girls are acutualy thinking of.^^ kinda fun sometimes listening those girls gosiping...me also seems to be very 38^^ yea

p.s not saying that I'm gay, i do have girls that i like ady!!

memories will only be memories

Well, sure to say that everyone had their own memories, but do you ever feel like u remember every part of it?? there's such ways to remember those memory like, writing it down, or taking numerous number of photos..

these are some of the photos that what actually happen before when i was still at my hometown.

cool huuh, after i drunk, my head is just so heavy i can't lift it up!! wow, although i still can think but i jz can't have my head held up...from that day i know what's the feeling of being drunk. so cool, so fun, but really, i've trouble my friend...they help me out on going back home until place me on bed..i really sorry for troubleling them.

well, 1st drinking iss seroiusly not good for healt, and defitenaly will increase your belly size, and you will end up troubleling people around you and make those who cares about you worry.

i don't like to drink that much either..but all those pain that have been there for so long...only somes know who am I and my past..thank you, guys for being with me.

those are my memory..i have a great release that day...I will not let history repeat on myself anymore.