i need a rest...long rest

man....history always repeating itself over and over again. been there done that, altough is different scene different person involve, but the story will always be the same...'life is like a stage, everyone have their own stand'(william shakespear)..but notice that character change everytime, but the story keeps on repeating it's routine..

im really tired on being like this everytime...what so it is that i am emo, deep down in me that's who i am. but can or is there anyone that understand me? or why so i even doing this. k, all this have finally makes me very tired, scared, even losing my bravery to stand.

but, who to blame, the girl or me?? i have not done anything, do i?? does want to care for a person is bad?? isn't someone should recieve and give thanks to the person that gives the care? but somehow i always got the other way round. being ignore...what i hate the most....what so to do if you(can be nultiple) doesn't like me? am i that pist to you(am not angry by this point), why i've always been treated like that, can't we be just friend like usual and don't think about it? such weird that girls tends to did this to me all the time. what i've done actualy? is that im the one that is wrong??

try if this happen to you?? how will you feel then, bragging for your girlfriend then cry along each other and say i understand?? huuh...i really don't know what to write about this point.

i figure being down for that long time is not good, suddenly brust out from the flame like a new born, i go crazy and talk things like an idiot will do, chatting with old friend that is stupidly enough. running around like hyper, playing basketball much more furiously. but what next after such an adrenalin? an emptyness that is hard to fill back. like watching yourselves digging a hole that where you burried your tressure behind your backyard? deep enough to fill 20 mens, but is your backyard, you are gonna fill it back, right?

it's very cold you know? leaving it to be like that. the pain that exist, is hard to describe. crumbling, falling, fire, iced, sour, bitter. all those mix together...pain. fill with unpleasent of memories and exprience.

I'm really really tired this kind of feeling, i don't mind being rejected even from face to face, but just don't turn your back around and giving a horrible face..just don't keep on ignoring me...it's much more annoying than i am to annoy you.

huuh, never will give a guess that you will see and understand what am i saying. I'm sharing this because no matter who, should not treat someone cold. it's a lame story and i don't have much english skills to explain much detail, but trust me that i u want to that you wont regret after learning my mistake. you will know how this will feel if one day it hits you, it's really really cold and hurt.