hm....let past be past...i am under healing sesion

hmmm....somehow is in their own nature...boys, will always be boys...(always like a kid)
boys only will think of their own benifits..never will taughts of what other (means their love one). they always think that 'i am the perfect man, be with me and i will take care of you forever' but then the next thing you can see that is their wife that is still cooking to their husband, haha^^ right or not ladys?? hmm, why leh?? is it because when human is in preamature state(eariy state of the earth when 1st human exist), man's the only one that hunt outside for food for their family, while woman can only take care of their children and cook for the family?? hmmm...might be so until man think of themselves so proud because " i have killed a lion!!! i am the strongest!!" strong, doesn't mean anything of will have a good and understanding with the one you love...(having muscle doesn't mean you are smart)

slow down yourselves....see what others wanted, force won't make things change and become better, it might stay at there if you are luckly enough but mostly fail and even lose sight of it. comunication and extra hard of effort to have a much better hapiness and understanding. don't wait until mistake then just to know how to change.

hmmm...i am sharing this because i did it once, chances always apear, is just that we always missed the best oportunity.
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there has been silence in me for a while...i've learn so much lately....been depress for so long yesterday...so down...
i finally realize that hate, anger, jelouse and ENVY, versus two eyes of foever love and hapiness, will only create more sadness in me...haha^^ my mind have been so tired lately..haix...
i've saw thing in my dream that thing will happen, at 1st i taught it was a false. but after that day being a 'light bulp' i realize that that dream is merely a warning from God, that he wanted me to stay away from them for a while..but, i happen in front of my eyes, but my reflex seems so slow and i can't see things cleary. i taught that is how it is that way that they both are..but, after uncovering the truth...it had became a nightmare for me after that day..
i can't stop remembering how they stare at each other that time...just so lovely...
why am i being so stupid that i din't realize it is happening and let myself hurt so much...why??

i've being silence once more.....

calm yourselves duyung...maybe the only way to treat yourselves is to torment yourselves trough phisical damage...is what you do best..then let time heal you...let past be past, we grow from it to for today to have better future....don't let memory haunt u down. be strong duyung!

this is short

ya i love her...but is all over now,
i realize that i love her too much, until givin' up so many,
love someone doesn't need to have them
only seeing them from far that they are happy, it'll be fine.
love someone need to make them as happy as possible,
even the step that need to break apart or letting go is, is the only way that can make them happy, then just let them go. even this choice sucks...u will get more when you saw them happy by leaving you either...

i am blessing those who are together, am praying those who just had lost.

i am now part of the past!

Over My Head (Cable Car) :
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm in over...

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

haix...suan le bah take good care of her!

what is it to do?? what can i do?? hmm..sorry, looks like i can't do anything already, decision had been make...really so sad and hurt tonight..it just like the feeling of despair...so deep under the ground that no chance of climbing back..
i can't do anything more, need to get myself away for a while, coz the only way to forget my love to her, is to only getting, she is with someone better. i trust him. although want to kick his ass tonight, haha^^
haix...suan le bah duyung, she is with a better person that can make her feel better and comfortable, i'm just a slut to her...anyone know how much i love her...hmmmm, depends also...i really really love her, want to take care of her, help her, but, only more and more misuderstanding apear. she is just so beautiful...can anyone see??? yes..he has finaly see it...haha^^well ok lah, i really really do trust that guy. haha^^

well...love exist in so many ways, this time is to let go, but i will not give up!! haha, get what i mean?? even until the day she is not married, i will still want to love her, wahahaa...i never knew she would be the one that effect my mind so hard, so many. until everyday cannot sleep! cool, even my previous din't have it like that before..im just too serious already this time...way, way too serious...hmm, hope her feeling is not disturbed after i wrote this blog...tell me if u do.

haix...let go lah duyung
i might need some time this time..no, is a lot!! halve year to forget?? walau....so love her eh...
let go let go!!! u can do it....hmmm, how about torchering myself trough work so hard until no more breath?? hmm....then need to work 17 hours already...wahahaha, working machine non-stop!!!!wow!!! cool....yes!! i'm running away!!! so what!!! say me coward or pussy, but is the only way to stop my own time on thinking too much...

haix...felt like wanna drunk myself tonight, just feeling so sad...down..cold..alone..no more hope...uak!!! disgusting!!!!! suan le bah!! just cry hard hard tonight then tomorrow morning will be ok soon. hope so lah.....really so fucking bitch full shit damn loadedly sad!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna go drink beer...
need to get up soon...something big is coming into my life soon...wahaha^^v i am going to be dissapearing soon!!!!! wahaha^^ wish me luck!!
take good care of her!!! even the slightest hurt u give to her, i will hit you with my hammer that is 12kg in weight and blow ur head off with my modified air gun that is directly connected to 280 psi(maximum 300 psi) air compresser!!! jaga kau!! wahahaha^^ im serius
haha^^ almost forgot to bless u both...May God put your hands together to have a better future^^v

If You're Not The One Lyrics Artist(Band):Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this **much** is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?



haha^^ yup guess what, right, u guys know who am i saying wee~~~
she is really so beautiful no matter what, hmmm, there is another song
Akon-beautiful
really so like you!!! wahahahaha, i don't think that will change...hmm there is a but, but what, wanna now?? im not telling, i will tell soon, it got related to the blog i wrote today, so wait lah. haha^^

sitting down and catching my breath

i was jogging with friend..walking down the path...somehow...i'm feeling lost..there's not enough reason for me to run...i sat down, i rest my feet, i waiting my friend...holding my legs..my breath is coming back...my brain becoming much fresh, then the sunset comes in front of my eyes..so beautiful..so calm..so slow the time had become, wish time can stop at that moment, just to let me have that view for a while more, it let me notice that, there are so many things to be explore in this tiny world of yours, i need to step up and step up!!!
huhh...i've maybe just lack of sleep these few days..thats what make me feel different..hmmm....not sure about that. That sunset, had let me think things more cleary, that i need to go on, no matter what happen, i trip so many times why i can't climb up on my on this time, it doesn't seems to be me, stand up duyung! u need to!! keep on going, u can do more!!

Things had become more cleary these few days as i am working with my dad, my mind is coming back!! theres things to be done these few day it might buzy me for a while, cause it just need to be settle. My family had become more stable, or should be..but still i can't tell until after tomorrow or more..i get to decide soon..it's big. Too important.

i've wasted a lot of time, done so many worst decision..is time to chose right this time...i need 2 and a half year more, when i am back, i'll be sucess, i seeing my future me now!! nothing should be able to disturb me!! go away demon!! go away satan!! u are able to temptate me once but no more, i can stand still!! i have my friend here by me!! JESUS!!! (and of course my real life friend lah) go away, i am standing now!! waking up from those dreams!! go!! go!!! GO!!!!!!!

i am sorry if i ever disturb anyone's feeling in my life, but is u guys that had make my life, is a good thing, i appreciate it, thanks!!
(more details will be reveild after these few days)