haiyo....why it have to be like that....

hais...so damn lah, still always like thinking of you everyday...said your bz, so i don't disturb you, then when your status put available, still reply me short short...is that all that u can say to me after i confess to you...why just girls always give guys these kind of feeling of being ignored...damn lah

just say loh if u don't want to be my friend....never mind lo...then this friendship never exsist then but it's only for you, friend is everything for me..not sure you understand it or not..damn, he can go so near to you, why can't i do, it always give me this kind of envy feeling of that certain guy...always see u guys hang out together gives me a big damn...huuh...

u ain't treat me like that before this...can't you be more friendly? i mean, your mature enough to think, can't you act your age. by ginoring someone and saying that won't talk to me until i forget my love to you..huuh...ur an idiot, a sellfish idiot..

what the hell!!

huuh....(know the consequences of writing this blog, so face me if you feel offended, FACE TO FACE!!)

i need a rest...long rest

man....history always repeating itself over and over again. been there done that, altough is different scene different person involve, but the story will always be the same...'life is like a stage, everyone have their own stand'(william shakespear)..but notice that character change everytime, but the story keeps on repeating it's routine..

im really tired on being like this everytime...what so it is that i am emo, deep down in me that's who i am. but can or is there anyone that understand me? or why so i even doing this. k, all this have finally makes me very tired, scared, even losing my bravery to stand.

but, who to blame, the girl or me?? i have not done anything, do i?? does want to care for a person is bad?? isn't someone should recieve and give thanks to the person that gives the care? but somehow i always got the other way round. being ignore...what i hate the most....what so to do if you(can be nultiple) doesn't like me? am i that pist to you(am not angry by this point), why i've always been treated like that, can't we be just friend like usual and don't think about it? such weird that girls tends to did this to me all the time. what i've done actualy? is that im the one that is wrong??

try if this happen to you?? how will you feel then, bragging for your girlfriend then cry along each other and say i understand?? huuh...i really don't know what to write about this point.

i figure being down for that long time is not good, suddenly brust out from the flame like a new born, i go crazy and talk things like an idiot will do, chatting with old friend that is stupidly enough. running around like hyper, playing basketball much more furiously. but what next after such an adrenalin? an emptyness that is hard to fill back. like watching yourselves digging a hole that where you burried your tressure behind your backyard? deep enough to fill 20 mens, but is your backyard, you are gonna fill it back, right?

it's very cold you know? leaving it to be like that. the pain that exist, is hard to describe. crumbling, falling, fire, iced, sour, bitter. all those mix together...pain. fill with unpleasent of memories and exprience.

I'm really really tired this kind of feeling, i don't mind being rejected even from face to face, but just don't turn your back around and giving a horrible face..just don't keep on ignoring me...it's much more annoying than i am to annoy you.

huuh, never will give a guess that you will see and understand what am i saying. I'm sharing this because no matter who, should not treat someone cold. it's a lame story and i don't have much english skills to explain much detail, but trust me that i u want to that you wont regret after learning my mistake. you will know how this will feel if one day it hits you, it's really really cold and hurt.

shitting day!!!

damn what the fuck with today, to be exact is this few day!!! so damn shit man!!! fucking hell that stupid ass deconnexion with some bullshit conection, so shittingly pist!!! motherfucking asshole with pineapple!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

some stupid people jacking my line again until i cannot download my stuf!!!!! shit shit shit shit shit!!!! stupid swinwifi have those stupid proxy again!!!! so damn pist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!! can't calm down!!!! my freaking mind keep on thinking of someone again and s/he just pist me!!! so damn bull fucking chicken hole!!!!!!!!!!!1

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feel my anger!!!!!!!!!

abs fogafh

s

fh

se

h s

j

smjas]erhaiosrfh jilpseatj

ry

kjw []ryk

j s

kjd

srtjs rt

.......

.......

.......

...

...

..

.

.

huuh....T_T....help.....im suffering.. why can't i have a fluent day for once......:'(

hu hu...T_T

whao....thanks for my fans...i need it

o whao...didn't notice i still have some fans...well either good or bad coment that u guys gonna post, im really thank about that...

for real...im not those kinda of person that will make so much trust to others..i always make doubt's on how people tought about me, trying to know what are they think about me...so as i think of it, just better ignore on those feeling, and better keep myself stay happy and entertain people as much as i can.

well for as much as i know that sometimes make funny and cold jokes, i can't put a good joke if i'm saying in english..haha^^ anyway, i always try to make people have fun around me..i like it a lot, cause if i can't accomplish that, i'll satr to think of is that particular person, or those guys are thinking of i am very annoying...

i'm a person that need some attention sometime....okay is a lot...sorry. i do need some attention sometime, thats why i wrote this blog, well as to let people know who i am from here instead of saying out load.....ya im a freak...huuuh...i know that people opinion is different, some might thing is a good thing to express out, but most of them if after read, i believe is the other way round, please believe me cause is true. people that know me, or whoever that read this blog but doesn't know me much, they'll have a different eye aiming at me when they saw me the next time...well, just have to acept it, cause that human nature, you can't expect them to spend time ti understand who you are from the deep down and give compasion that you want, right?

well, what to say, that's the way God have created us, not all are perfect, infact, there's no one that is perfect enough then God. that's the way he work, that's what make this world so wonderful, don't you agree?? if all are perfect and no arguing on ideas, who's gonna improve our life. no competition, no improvement.

well...kinda boring week this week is. dunno what to do, just finish my test have a bad enough result...huuh, just have to study more these few weeks as phisic is coming on the 26. my GOD...

damn. im not sure on what is going with me, there's some mix feeling on me, but for real i had given up from the very first, i might be lying now as no one can see the truth. im not gonna say cause is a sin too me...maybe not now...wanna hint..(HERO)

people keep on saying, but the truth that i've change on what i want. able to guess?? i repeat, is not that im being unloyalty, but i had given up the first on the 1st place......understand what i mean?? im really sorry. i only want to have more warm. and i found it somewhere else.

can say and see the end result is bad and trust me, IT IS!!

well, all i can say that really sorry, but the fact that i had start to like you and it's been a while. you might have notice, but you still neglet it, or maybe, im not sure will u read or not my blog, but i make it official here, i do like you...

p.s im not ready to face the coment cause i know it's gonna be bad...but pls understand what do i feel before comenting. it does well in more explaning..i dun wanna coment who is she. i can only tell privately.

moody....

....dunno how to start...wanna use broken english 2day....
weird day, hearing that she need help on some adobe program, try so hard to find the program for her, din't sleep for that nite just to search that program, after that we meet on morning, outside sitting on the bench, haha:), sh elook so messy, wonder why she so rush, can see baby powder on her neck and some mooncake pieces on side of her lips...she so cute and funny, anyway, i have her laptop, help her install the photoshop...lol, then oni i know that she do have that program...but the problem is the key get expired...well, luckily eonugh i found the crack for her, just copy and paste...then is done, i dn really need to spend the whole day to without sleeping, just to help her download the whole adobe photoshop and illustrator...why i being so stupid and listen careful enough...or is that she din stated good enough?? better just put the blame on me...

well, at least now she can have her assigment done without buying the original cd which will cost around rm160 above, or maybe(not sure bout the price)...will she remember who help her??
hmmm, not sure.....memories will fade.

malaysia independence day is today(31 august), after that my fren b'day, which is the next day,(1 september), i 4got her b'day....omg how cruel am i...i promise i wont 4got her b'day anymore, hahaha. we chat along celebrating her b'day, although is only trough MSN, but at least we have a fun day talking about our feeling to each other....weird....i ply a lot of jokes even when i dn have mood...what's make me moody??? erh, how should i out it...for now, having a relationship or could say having a gf..is only a sad thing for me to think of it, been rejected so many time, only making me more and more losing my confident on chasing a gurl...lost all those heart, beside, i always happens to be making her angry or some, im not sure is it the way that she tok is like that, or just that she hate me or really think that im annoying...

well, wat so, even if so to be like that, can't u jz treat me as u treat other of your fren here, do u really that hate me...so many question....so many why..
jz wish to become much and much closer to u...but, my feelings tell me that i should give up on chasing u..the other way round that keep on teeling me not to give up is my Ego...what should i do?? so confuse.....

i dn like to change too many target, when i spot one, i'll keep on tracking it till it dissapear....i remember last time when i was young, thr this gurl i like, belive it or not, i like her for two whole years, without telling her, after she'd gone(stop studying) then i aimed for other target...same as to my exes..is either one of us dissapear, then my heart will let go.....huuh...wat the hell...

tired and confuse....sad and dissapoint...cry with a smile....heart broke, still act strong....huuh....maybe that's what the main key of being me, duyung!

damn...think too much.....sleep will heal me, and the sun will energies me..


HAPPY B'DAY SUXIN, MUAKS, BFF

hais....

am i desperate?? ya so....hais...dunno wat to rite..so damn fuck up...angry not because of others but myself, not because angry myself because angry of y im so confuse and blind sometime...

damn!!!!!!!!!! arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me kill my feeling, any potion that can take these feeling away, make it gone........i'm so suffer, do anyone understand.

am i that bad, always being rejected, well doesn't really matter to me, but can __ at least be a friend, why it is just so damn. i just want some conversation, please ok...

so damn hate being ignore...


then fine..i'll work myself out, get myself even stronger!! not to be seen a useless guy, dunno anything, being said childish. i'll prove it to the world!!


so what, said im a worst person ever that trying to prove himself to the world that he is a great person, such a freak, i don't mind!! but do u(anyone) know who i am?? no!! THEN SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

can i do it this time??

huuh...is a frustation to think of it everyday...so what of like someone.....maybe being friends is the best solution....

i have somehow don't have that confident to say it out loud anymore...'i like you'.....
is really confussing that should i even try to have a move...is pain?? no, anger?? no...then?? i really don't know...

should i say it??? still having doubts