cute^^

owh.....how cute was that having sandwich together...I'm talking about a couple..sweet ngie..wish i had a camera and capture every sweet moment of people had, figuring on became a freelance photographer...wonder when is my turn, having sandwich or just two cups of hot noodle during night supper sitting on the bench, or watching on the moonlight on the wide sky, counting stars together..how sweet was that, hmmmm, sure hope it will happen....

what?! I'm still normal and i still want a girlfriend too, just haven't found it yet. but will I?? Saying that now I need full focus on my study..i wasted enough of my time, troubled my parents more then enough...but sometime when seeing those couple walking together, makes me wonder how those feeling are....well i admit i have ex before, but is only a short period of time. It's been two years since the last time i had a girlfriend., i miss those feeling ..those hugging, holding hands together..(at this point, I'm not feeling empty or sad nor lonely, but rather staring at the deem blue sky, wondering when will my time come) is a wonder you know??

the weather today, windy, black sky, but doesn't seems to be able to have a heavy rain...but cold.
I've been dump three times...and I only have three ex's before...loser am i??? haha^^

but i like how those story end, i never will forget them, as they have been most important people in my life...a friend once said, 'at least you are much better then I do, cause you have ex's before, that's make you capable of having a girlfriend, i too want a girlfriend, but i just didn't have the chance to proving myself capable.'

to think of that, he got a point, at least I had it before compare to those who wanted but didn't able to have..

but more and more now as time past through every bit by the second, days and month...i have already lose much of my confidence and starting to doubt myself. Kinda tired of these feeling, being rejected, and dump..but they make my life filled and let me grow much...

is it a bad thing to act like a child in front of people?? maybe that's who i am, saying myself mature? but you don't know much about me...maybe the point of maturity for everyone is different, but seldom can see what behind my face..i may look big and buff, well not tall, at least I'm still look tough, inside of me, so many glasses have been broken. I'm not asking anyone to learn from me or praise me from this point forward, but isn't it the best thing to do after something fail to pleased you is to keep a smile on your face?? that's why I've been look like an idiot or so called childish...not much can impress me anymore. I just want people to smile as i do even if i have to act so stupid.

erh....this blog i only want to share my feeling, not to say that I'm very "small gas" stingy if not wrong to be pronounce in English. :)