hais....

am i desperate?? ya so....hais...dunno wat to rite..so damn fuck up...angry not because of others but myself, not because angry myself because angry of y im so confuse and blind sometime...

damn!!!!!!!!!! arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me kill my feeling, any potion that can take these feeling away, make it gone........i'm so suffer, do anyone understand.

am i that bad, always being rejected, well doesn't really matter to me, but can __ at least be a friend, why it is just so damn. i just want some conversation, please ok...

so damn hate being ignore...


then fine..i'll work myself out, get myself even stronger!! not to be seen a useless guy, dunno anything, being said childish. i'll prove it to the world!!


so what, said im a worst person ever that trying to prove himself to the world that he is a great person, such a freak, i don't mind!! but do u(anyone) know who i am?? no!! THEN SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

can i do it this time??

huuh...is a frustation to think of it everyday...so what of like someone.....maybe being friends is the best solution....

i have somehow don't have that confident to say it out loud anymore...'i like you'.....
is really confussing that should i even try to have a move...is pain?? no, anger?? no...then?? i really don't know...

should i say it??? still having doubts

basketball..

somehow i use to hate basketball, not able to get a score, people don't want to pass it to me, damn, makes me have no more mood...
But as today, something really shit frustrated me so much, damn it man, i can't do jogging as i like coz weather don't let me too and the campus parameter is just too big and got many people.

then a flick of my mind suddenly says, ' play basketball' then i said why don't, since i've a ball from someone, then i just let off my steam with it..

well the point is that, don't let of your steam on someone or complain too much, it won't end up to have a good result anyway..so go for sport. Isn't it a good thing, i mean, u sweat, get rid of those toxic, and u gain an increase skill or abilty on playing bball or badminton or watever...it just something really nice be have sport. It keeps us healthy and have a happy mind too^^ as oxygen will fill in more to your brain cell...

well...not much too say..coz dn like to complain anymore, just have to fight for it

wah.....girls

when was the last time that I'm being surrounded by so many girls...haha^^ nto saying I'm those popular and handsome boys lah, just want to gosip around like girls do KEKE, but really it is kinda fun listening on those topik that they say, about boys, groceries stuff, handbags, make up..

weird right that I'm been able to join those girls, well don't envy if I'm friendly with those girls that you like, wakaka^^ just kidding. But, if guys, i mean boys, if you can't join those girls is never mind , cause i understand, those topiks is really really REALLY not for boys to listen, sometimes after hearing might feel weird, or if they(girls) are talking about those cute boys infront of you, you might will staring to doubt yoursleves and re-evaluate yourselves.

well, at least we still can learn and see what girls are acutualy thinking of.^^ kinda fun sometimes listening those girls gosiping...me also seems to be very 38^^ yea

p.s not saying that I'm gay, i do have girls that i like ady!!

memories will only be memories

Well, sure to say that everyone had their own memories, but do you ever feel like u remember every part of it?? there's such ways to remember those memory like, writing it down, or taking numerous number of photos..

these are some of the photos that what actually happen before when i was still at my hometown.

cool huuh, after i drunk, my head is just so heavy i can't lift it up!! wow, although i still can think but i jz can't have my head held up...from that day i know what's the feeling of being drunk. so cool, so fun, but really, i've trouble my friend...they help me out on going back home until place me on bed..i really sorry for troubleling them.

well, 1st drinking iss seroiusly not good for healt, and defitenaly will increase your belly size, and you will end up troubleling people around you and make those who cares about you worry.

i don't like to drink that much either..but all those pain that have been there for so long...only somes know who am I and my past..thank you, guys for being with me.

those are my memory..i have a great release that day...I will not let history repeat on myself anymore.

cute^^

owh.....how cute was that having sandwich together...I'm talking about a couple..sweet ngie..wish i had a camera and capture every sweet moment of people had, figuring on became a freelance photographer...wonder when is my turn, having sandwich or just two cups of hot noodle during night supper sitting on the bench, or watching on the moonlight on the wide sky, counting stars together..how sweet was that, hmmmm, sure hope it will happen....

what?! I'm still normal and i still want a girlfriend too, just haven't found it yet. but will I?? Saying that now I need full focus on my study..i wasted enough of my time, troubled my parents more then enough...but sometime when seeing those couple walking together, makes me wonder how those feeling are....well i admit i have ex before, but is only a short period of time. It's been two years since the last time i had a girlfriend., i miss those feeling ..those hugging, holding hands together..(at this point, I'm not feeling empty or sad nor lonely, but rather staring at the deem blue sky, wondering when will my time come) is a wonder you know??

the weather today, windy, black sky, but doesn't seems to be able to have a heavy rain...but cold.
I've been dump three times...and I only have three ex's before...loser am i??? haha^^

but i like how those story end, i never will forget them, as they have been most important people in my life...a friend once said, 'at least you are much better then I do, cause you have ex's before, that's make you capable of having a girlfriend, i too want a girlfriend, but i just didn't have the chance to proving myself capable.'

to think of that, he got a point, at least I had it before compare to those who wanted but didn't able to have..

but more and more now as time past through every bit by the second, days and month...i have already lose much of my confidence and starting to doubt myself. Kinda tired of these feeling, being rejected, and dump..but they make my life filled and let me grow much...

is it a bad thing to act like a child in front of people?? maybe that's who i am, saying myself mature? but you don't know much about me...maybe the point of maturity for everyone is different, but seldom can see what behind my face..i may look big and buff, well not tall, at least I'm still look tough, inside of me, so many glasses have been broken. I'm not asking anyone to learn from me or praise me from this point forward, but isn't it the best thing to do after something fail to pleased you is to keep a smile on your face?? that's why I've been look like an idiot or so called childish...not much can impress me anymore. I just want people to smile as i do even if i have to act so stupid.

erh....this blog i only want to share my feeling, not to say that I'm very "small gas" stingy if not wrong to be pronounce in English. :)

i don't dare to promise anymore..

huuh....(a sigh)...crazy...went to played basketball yesterday night at 8pm till 9.30pm, it's fun when u try to release yourselves when you are frustrated or stress, there always someone there u might meet to have a conversation with you...(thanks Anil) but then he abandon me and join the other team compete basketball...hais, left me alone being bullied by 2 beautiful chicks playing basketball together^^ wakaka^^ Vicky and Emily, haha^^ nice girl. anyway, i have i fun moment releasing myself during sport..want to know what am i frustrating about, but I'm not telling..haha:) secret...


Such weird,
'i don't dare to promise you anymore'
...familiar with this phrase?? I've never thought of hearing this phrase anymore, but it appear suddenly today from someone very cute, haha^^ the last time i heard this was during my high school period, ya, one of those youth story again, probably some have been trough this before..it was sad to hear it, but it get worst when things gone bad with this phrase. To be honest, is not good to break promise, unless is something urgent happened, then consider yourselves excluded...
I too break my promise sometime, everyone do it without notice, well I'm not saying that i mind it so much, please..seriously i don't..don't take it as i minded it too much...ok?? I'm ok with it..

hmm..just that somehow the story that i wrote on my life tablet, i craved it to hardly, that's maybe the reason somehow this memory have been flick on again....but i move on my life with it...it's part of my story, it too worth as my own personal experience. i grow more..again not promoting myself.

not sure on why i wrote this blog..haha^^ I'm done now